DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR REPLYING LATE TO MY EMAIL by Ploum on 2026-02-11 https://ploum.net/2026-02-11-do_not_apologize_for_replying_to_my_email.html You don’t need to apologize for taking hours, days, or years to reply to one of my emails. If we are not close collaborators, and if I didn’t explicitly tell you I was waiting for your answer within a specific timeframe, then please stop apologizing for replying late! This is a trend I’m witnessing, probably caused by the addiction to instant messaging. Most of the emails I receive these days contain some sort of apology. I received an apology from someone who took five hours to reply to what was a cold and unimportant email. I received apologies in what was a reply to a reply I had sent only a couple of days earlier. Apologizing for taking time to reply to my email is awkward and makes me uncomfortable. It also puts a lot of pressure on me: what if I take more time than you to reply? Isn’t the whole point of asynchronous communication to be… asynchronous? Each on its own rhythm? I was not waiting for your email in the first place. ==================================================== As soon as my email was sent, I probably forgot about it. I may have thought a lot before writing it. I may have drafted it multiple times. Or not. But as soon as it was in my outbox, it was also out of my mind. That’s the very point of asynchronous communication. That’s why I use email. I’m not making any assumptions about your availability. Most of the emails I send are replies to emails I received. So, no, I was not waiting for a reply to my reply. My email might also be an idea I wanted to share with you, a suggestion, a random thought, a way to connect. In all cases, I’m not sitting there, waiting impatiently for your answer. Even if my email was about requesting some help or collaborating with you, I’ve been trying to move forward anyway. Your reply, whenever it comes, will only be a bonus. But, except if we are in close collaboration and I explicitly said so in the email, I’m not waiting for you! I don’t want to know all the details of your life. ================================================== Yes, you took several days to reply to my email. That’s OK. I don’t need to know that it’s because your mother was dying of cancer or that you were expelled from your house. I’m not making those up! I really receive that kind of apology from people who took several days to reply to emails that look trivial in comparison. Life happens. If you have things more important to do than replying to my email, then, for god’s sake, don’t reply to it. I get it! I’m human too. If I sometimes reply to all the emails I receive for several days, I may also archive them quickly for weeks because I don’t have the mental space. If you want to reply but don’t have time, put the burden on me ============================================================== If I’m asking you something and you really would like to take the time to reply to my email, it is OK to simply send one line like
Hey Ploum, I don’t have the time and mental space right now. Could you contact me again in 6 months to discuss this idea?
Then archive or delete my email. That’s fine. If I really want your input, I will manage to remind you in 6 months. You don’t need to justify. You don’t need to explain. Being short saves time for both of us. You don’t need to reply at all! =============================== Except if explicitly stated, don’t feel any pressure to reply to one of my emails. Feel free to read and discard the email. Feel free to think about it. Feel free to reply to it, even years later, if it makes sense for you. But, most importantly, feel free not to care! We all receive too many messages in a day. We all have to make choices. We cannot follow all the paths that look interesting because we are all constrained by having, at most, a couple billion seconds left to live. Consider whether replying adds any value to the discussion. Is a trivial answer really needed? Is there really something to add? Can’t we both save time by you not replying? If my email is already a reply to yours, is there something you really want to add? At some point, it is better to stop the conversation. And, as I said, it is not rude: I’m not waiting for your reply! Don’t tell me you will reply later! =================================== Some people specialize in answering email by explaining why they have no time and that they will reply later. If I’m not explicitly waiting for you, then that’s the very definition of a useless email. That also adds a lot of cognitive load on you: you promised to answer! The fact that you wrote it makes your brain believe that replying to my email is a daunting task. How will you settle for a quick reply after that? What am I supposed to do with such a non-reply email? In case an acknowledgement is needed, a simple reply with "thanks" or "received" is enough to inform me that you’ve got the message. Or "ack" if you are a geek. If you do reply, remind me of the context ========================================= If you choose to reply, consider that I have switched to completely different tasks and may have forgotten the context of my own message. When online, my attention span is measured in seconds, so it doesn’t matter if you take 30 minutes or 30 days to answer my email: I guarantee you that I forgot about it. Consequently, please keep the original text of the whole discussion! Use bottom-posting style to reply to each question or remark in the body of the original mail itself. Don’t hesitate to cut out parts of the original email that are not needed anymore. Feel free to ignore large parts of the email. It is fine to give a one-line answer to a very long question. I’m trying to make my emails structured. If there are questions I want you to answer, each question will be on its own line and will end with a question mark. If you do not see such lines, then there’s probably no question to answer. If you do top posting, please remind me briefly of the context we are in.
Dear Ploum,
I contacted you 6 months ago about my "fooing the bar" project after we met at FOSDEM. You replied to my email with a suggestion of "baring
the foo." You also asked a lot of questions. I will answer those below in your own email: In short, that’s basic mailing-list etiquette. Mailing list etiquette (www.mediawiki.org) https://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/Mailing_list_etiquette No, seriously, I don’t expect you to reply! =========================================== If there’s one thing to remember, it’s that I don’t expect you to reply. I’m not waiting for it. I have a life, a family, and plenty of projects. The chance I’m thinking about the email I sent you is close to zero. No, it is literally zero. So don’t feel pressured to reply. Should you really reply in the first place? In case of doubt, drop the email. Life will continue. If you do reply, I will be honored, whatever time it took for you to send it. In any case, whatever you choose, do not apologize for replying late! And use plaintext email! https://useplaintext.email/